


you were stone white, so delicate

by agentlithium



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, First Kiss, M/M, Teen Romance, ed's not a whole entire bitch for once, goth kid oswald, kissing for "practice", making out to the cure, swearing bc edgy teenz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 13:14:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16933896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agentlithium/pseuds/agentlithium
Summary: really, what are friends for?





	you were stone white, so delicate

**Author's Note:**

> wow finally something dumb and happy

Oswald was sitting on the kitchen counter, enjoying a bowl of Lucky Charms, when Edward came banging on his door. The only warning he received was a text from his best friend, asking if he was home. It was early on Thursday evening. Oswald had only been home from school a short while. Ed was usually at least an hour late leaving the place on Tuesdays and Thursdays. He was the accompanying pianist for the miserable excuse that Gotham Regional High School attempted to pass off as a band. It was incredibly rare for Ed to suggest hanging out during the week as he was, more often than not, swamped with homework from his many advanced courses. Oswald was still pretty happy to see him, but he didn’t expect Ed to show up so soon. He must have run the whole way there. Oswald set down his soggy cereal and answered the door.

“Kristen!” Ed shouted as he barreled into the small apartment without so much as a ‘hello’. Oswald jumped.

“Jesus— Ed, what?”

“ _Kristen!_ ” he restated, emphasizing the name with shaking hands. Ah, yes, Edward’s long-standing crush. Ed had been obsessed with Kristen since long before he even met Oswald. Oswald didn’t get what the big deal was himself. She was nice enough, but she didn’t warrant that kind of infatuation. He was also gay, so maybe that had something to do with her lack of appeal. One thing was certain and that was that she did not return the sentiment. Oswald frequently had to lie through his teeth to comfort Ed when her clear rejections got him down. Ed was his best friend, but sometimes he really felt sorry for the poor girl when Ed would insist on not giving up his pursuits. Surprisingly, Ed didn’t look upset as he babbled her name like an idiot. He was grinning from ear to ear.

“Spit it out, Ed.”

“Okay, okay, I overheard her talking to Lee about how she was bad at math and I offered to tutor her before her next test and she said yes! I gave her my number and she’s gonna let me know when!”

“Oh, wow,” Oswald’s eyebrows raised. He never thought he’d see the day. Ed wasn’t at all discouraged by his muted reaction. Oswald was never the most enthusiastic individual. He was the ‘goth’ kid at school and he was as goth as one could get on a budget like his. He was the only son of a single mother who worked most of the day, so money was scarce. Oswald did his own fair share of odd jobs to take the pressure off of his poor mother and he spent every spare dollar he scrounged up on anything cheap and anything dark. Clothing, accessories, makeup. His eyes were always lined in black, his hair an inky mess, his coat collar popped like a vampire cape. His most prized possessions were the big strappy boots he got that past Christmas. They went up to his knees and added a few more blessed inches to his diminutive stature. Ed, by contrast, was all neatly-creased slacks that never quite reached his ankles and button-down shirts that looked like something you would spot on your grandfather, not a lanky teenage boy. Walking side by side down the hall at school, they made quite the pair.

“I think she’s starting to like me,” Ed announced proudly. Oswald returned to the kitchen to dump out the milky remains of his afternoon snack.

“Or she just wants free tutoring.”

Oswald didn’t like how Ed was so eager to be potentially taken advantage of. He had no idea what this girl’s intentions were and he was ready to do anything she asked. It was his responsibility to keep Ed grounded.

“At least I have my foot in the door.”

“You really think she’s changing her mind about you now? After all these years?”

“She could be. It’s possible.”

“Right. Good luck with that delusion,” Oswald put his bowl in the sink and lead Edward to his room. Most of the small apartment was a vintage floral nightmare. His mother loved antiques and decorated most of the living space with outdated furniture. Oswald and Ed spent the majority of their time in Oswald’s bedroom. Posters of horror movies and rock bands plastered the walls and he had all sorts of macabre little pieces scattered about. While Oswald browsed his collection of secondhand CDs and mixtapes for something to play, Ed looked at his small shelf of old books.

“How are things with you and Jim?” he asked. Oswald cackled in response.

“That’s funny. There’s nothing happening with me and Jim or anyone else for that matter.”

Oswald had a habit of catching feelings for boys that were virtually unattainable. One crush he just couldn’t seem to shake was his unfortunate love for Jim Gordon. Jim was a football player slated for the military. His shaggy blond hair, bright blue eyes, and classic charm— all of him was just perfect. It was about more than looks, of course. He helped Oswald avoid getting the shit kicked out of him on more than one occasion and inadvertently stole his heart with this minimal act of kindness. Unlike Ed, Oswald elected to keep his distance to avoid humiliating himself. He knew Jim was straight and most definitely not looking to hook up with the weird, snotty goth kid with a violent streak, and yet Oswald still fell head-over-heels for him. Ed was only asking out of courtesy and he knew it. Jim Gordon was never going to like him back and it was best to accept it and move on.

Ed was really the only person who cared about Oswald, aside from his mother. He loved his mom, but he always turned to Ed when he didn’t want to worry the fretful woman. Ed was the one who cleaned up his scrapes and iced his bruises after he got in a fight. Ed was the one who dropped everything when Oswald needed a shoulder to cry on. Ed knew him better than anyone. And this relationship was hardly one-sided. Oswald was the one Ed called when his father was drinking again and he needed a place to stay. Oswald was the one who got suspended for threatening some of Ed’s tormentors with his pocketknife. Oswald felt a sort of intimacy with Ed that he never felt before. But alas Oswald absolutely, positively, most-assuredly did _not_ like him in that way.

“I’m sure Jim will realize what he’s missing out on,” said Ed. He had already snagged a book that caught his eye and was sitting cross-legged on Oswald’s twin bed. Oswald slipped a disc from its case into his ancient CD player. The volume was low enough to only provide with background noise, but Ed was very well acquainted with The Cure— the band being one of Oswald’s favourites. He was always listening to them, so Ed was pretty sure he would be able to recognize every song by them within the first five seconds. The soundtrack to Oswald’s teenage angst was depressing, whiny, and cacophonous, but this Ed didn’t particularly mind. It was much better than some of the other bands Ed had become unfortunately familiar with. If only he could convince Oswald to listen to some classical.

“It’s hopeless,” Oswald declared. “I’m never getting a boyfriend.”

He threw himself back on his bed for dramatic effect, narrowly missing his friend’s pointy knees. Edward was hunched over his book, poring over the pages. He was more than familiar with Oswald’s griping about his many unrequited loves. Hypocritical as it was, he wasn’t interested in listening to the same spiel again. Every single time Oswald would come to the decision that he was going to throw in the towel, then Jim Gordon would hold the door for him or something similarly insignificant and he would be back to planning their wedding.

“You know that’s not true. Statistically speaking, there’s someone out there for you.”

“Nope. I’m gonna be alone forever with a bunch of cats who will eat my face after I die.”

“I won’t let you go undiscovered for that long.”

“You’re a real pal,” said Oswald, half-sarcastically. He appreciated what little platonic affection Ed bestowed upon him. Awkward as he was, he was pretty much all Oswald had in terms of friends. Oswald, however, did not appreciate the lack of attention this issue was being given.

“Hey!”

Ed removed his nose from the pages it was buried in. He was rather enthralled in the book’s subject: medieval torture devices.

“Sorry, you were saying?”

“If I have to listen to you talk about Kristen, you have to listen to me talk about gay shit.”

“You’re right. I apologize. I suggest you pursue him with more intent. Let your affections be known.”

“Are you crazy? I’m not straight, Ed. I can’t just go confessing my love to boys all willy-nilly. I’ll get hate-crimed.”

“Okay, Jim won’t ‘hate-crime’ you— that’s not even a verb— but I understand where you’re coming from. At least Kristen likes men. I mean, I’m not her usual type, but maybe I can change her mind,” Ed suddenly perked up.

“What if she actually really likes me and she’s just too shy to show it? What if she’s planning this private meeting to get me alone? What if we bond over this tutoring session? What if… what if she _kisses_ me?” Ed spoke like he couldn’t even fathom the words he was saying. Likely because he was talking nonsense.

“First of all, that’s probably not going to happen. Second, if she kisses you, kiss her back?”

“I’ve never kissed anyone before.”

“It’s not rocket science, Ed. I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

“Rocket science is probably easier to understand than romance in this modern age.”

“That’s because you’re a dweeb,” Oswald snickered.

“I don’t want to disappoint her, Oswald.”

“Luckily, you won’t get the chance to disappoint because she’s not gonna kiss you.”

“Anything could happen.”

“If anything was gonna happen, it would’ve happened already.”

“Maybe she’s making her move now,” Ed’s glee was unaffected by Oswald’s pessimism. He really wanted to believe that she held some secret feelings for him. For such a pragmatic boy, he sure allowed himself to be consumed by fantasy an awful lot.

“I just want to be prepared for anything.”

“I don’t know what you want me to do for you,” Oswald stretched and sighed. Ed looked pensive, mulling over his options until he came to a conclusion.

“Can I kiss you?”

Oswald choked.

“Can you _what?_ ”

“For practice, of course,” Ed added. His quirky little smile hadn’t faded at all.

“You’re serious?”

“As a heart attack. According to Gladwell, you improve the more you practice at something. If I get my first kiss out of the way whilst getting some practice in, I’ll be marginally better should Kristen want to kiss me.”

Oswald’s brow furrowed. This couldn’t be happening.

“Ed, I love you. You’re my best friend and I would do anything for you, but… I don’t know. Call me a romantic, but I kind of envisioned my first kiss as something special.”

“Oh, you’ll also benefit from this. Should you kiss Jim Gordon or someone else in the future, you’ll have a little bit of experience under your belt. This doesn’t even have to count as your first kiss. It’s just practice.”

Oswald had to evaluate the pros and cons of agreeing to Ed’s ridiculous request. Ed was his friend. They had seen more personal and embarrassing parts of each other than they could count, so kissing him probably wouldn’t be the weirdest thing they’ve ever done. But Oswald was hoping his first kiss was going to be all fireworks and the birth of true love and shit like that. He could already tell Ed was going to kiss like a Mormon on his wedding day who’s only ever given his bride-to-be a supervised side-hug. Still, he wouldn’t have to worry about impressing Ed and he would be getting some practice for if another boy was ever going to kiss him. _I guess it’s not that big of a deal_.

“Y’know what? Sure, why not?” he eventually conceded.

“Okie-Dokie!” Ed threw his book aside and situated himself so he was kneeling. Oswald mimicked his position and swiped his long bangs from his face.

“No one can know about this.”

Ed nodded.

“Absolutely. This stays right here.”

A beat of silence.

“Well, what now? Are we gonna...”

“I don’t know. I told you I’ve never done this before. You’re the one with a secret thing for romantic comedies.”

Oswald rolled his eyes.

“Those are movies, Ed. None of that can really be applied in real life.”

“Come on, there has to be something—”

“Fine, fine, okay. You can put your hands on my waist if you want.”

Ed made a face at Oswald’s suggestion.

“That’s a bit more than just kissing.”

“You’re gonna put your mouth on my mouth and you’re scared of touching my waist? What, are you gonna kiss Kristen with your arms swinging?”

“ _Touché_ ,” Ed placed a hesitant hand just above Oswald’s hip. Oswald, in turn, put his hands on either side of Edward’s prominent jaw.

“Okay,” Oswald began. He didn’t expect to sound so nervous. “Basic rules: keep your eyes shut, don’t use too much tongue, a _tiny_ bit of biting is probably okay, and just… vibe with it.”

“Vibe with it? What’s too much tongue? How hard should I b—”

Oswald cut him off with a huff as he hauled him in and pressed his lips to Ed’s. Neither did anything for a moment. They held their closed mouths together awkwardly until Oswald elected to move. He was exclusively going off what he saw in films, hoping Ed would throw him a bone and work with him. He kissed him slowly and with restraint. They both fumbled through it at first but managed to follow the simple rhythm that had been set. After the initial discomfort melted away, it wasn’t that bad. Oswald started to relax against Ed. He didn’t even notice that his nails, coated in chipped black polish, were digging into Ed’s skin. He was far more anxious than he anticipated and even as the tension lessened, the butterflies in his gut were multiplying at a rapid pace.

It was clumsy and innocent but nice in a way. Neither was concerned about their lack of skill or the way their teeth clacked together. There was no rush to it. They just let the moment go where it wanted to. Ed, in a bold attempt to ‘vibe with it’, snaked his arms around Oswald’s slender torso to bring him in further. He had to remind himself that this was just for practice. If he wasn’t careful, he would forget why he instigated this whole thing.

_Why was that again?_

Edward assumed kissing wouldn’t live up to the hype that surrounded it. Slimy tongues sliding about, sharing germs and digestive fluids. It sounded vile in theory, but admittedly, he was pleasantly surprised. Oswald was right in saying it wasn’t all that hard. It was a sort of intrinsic knowledge that came to Ed like he’d been doing this all his life. It helped that he was so comfortable with Oswald. He wasn’t afraid to be bold because there would be no real consequences to his actions, so long as he didn’t go too far. This was harmless, friendly experimentation and Oswald told him to just ‘vibe with it’. Ed wasn’t exactly the most talented on picking up what the mood of a given situation dictated, but he elected to follow his own curious desire. He dragged his teeth over Oswald’s lower lip, catching it in with a light nibble. How else was he supposed to know what was too much biting?

He found himself immediately affected by the light gasp Oswald drew in. It was almost inaudible, but the sound made some strange, dormant part of Ed surged to life. His initial motivation vanished and now, he just wanted Oswald to make that sound again.

Oswald noticed this shift in Ed. The tight grasp encircling him, the gentle tug on his lip— it all made his head swim and his heart race. But it was just the physical sensation. It wasn’t Ed doing this to him. Ed honestly wasn’t his type; however, he  _was_ a fast learner. Oswald couldn’t argue that it felt very good and Ed was steadily improving. His movements transitioned from robotic to natural. He was still somewhat uncoordinated, but that wasn’t a bad thing. Then, much to Oswald’s chagrin, Ed stopped. Oswald watched him take off his glasses and change his position again until he was leaning back against the headboard.

“Come here,” he muttered. Oswald obeyed, crawling forward until he was straddling skinny thighs. He couldn’t contain a startled squeak upon being dragged down into Ed’s lap. He would’ve asked about this uncharacteristic assertiveness Ed was exhibiting, but he was content with being kissed again. Only now did they let the kiss deepen. The original tentativeness hadn’t abandoned them, but it was no match to the mindless bliss of being this close to another person. They settled into each other like puzzle pieces, fitting perfectly. Ed was aware that this had gone far beyond the realm of ‘practice’, but the last thing he wanted was to throw Oswald off of him. If anything, he never wanted to let this end. If he had any more presence of mind, that would have concerned him. He might have wondered if this was a new development in his sexuality that he couldn’t overlook this time. He might have wondered if this meant he was attracted to Oswald or if Oswald was even attracted to him. What if Oswald was thinking about Jim Gordon right now?

If he was capable of thinking about anything other than kissing Oswald until his mouth was sore, he would surely be worried about something.

They spent the better part of an hour wrapped up in one another. Things didn’t progress any further than some passive exploration, Ed’s fingertips touching Oswald’s bare back where his shirt rode up. By the time Oswald finally pulled away, his face was flushed and warm. His nose bumped Ed’s and he giggled. Ed was so used to Oswald’s barks of fake, nasally laughter that was nearly taken aback by hearing him genuinely laugh.

“You are bright red right now,” was all Ed thought to say. Oswald ducked his head with a shy smile, taking his hand back from Ed’s shoulder to scratch at the base of his skull. Ed recognized that tick instantly. Oswald did that whenever Jim talked to him.

“Shut up,” he picked up Ed’s glasses and gave them to him. “Four-eyes.”

“You wound me.”

With his glasses on, Ed could clearly see how sweet and bashful Oswald looked. He would never have guessed that this was his closest friend. Oswald was vicious, cutthroat. He was snarky and bitter and he wasn’t supposed to look… _cute_.

Oswald himself had no idea what was coming over him. His stomach lurched about nervously and for once, he didn’t have a good insult or a defensive jab to offer. Not a ‘fuck-face’ or a ‘dick-bag’. No, nothing but ‘four-eyes’. He couldn’t even be mean to Ed, not in the way he usually was. It was just like how he couldn’t talk back to his mother or how he gladly let Jim walk all over him without complaint. It was way too weird. He wanted to blow up, launch into a full-blown fit, demand that Ed get the fuck out of his apartment before he filleted him for making him so confused. That would be the easy way out.

Instead, he cuddled into Ed’s chest and buried his blushing face in the crook of his neck. He had to hide his stupid grin somehow.

“What are you doing?” Ed chuckled. He was already absentmindedly trailing his fingers up and down over the ridges of Oswald’s spine. “Hiding your shame?”

“Shut up, Ed.”

“You’re ears are red too.”

Oswald sat up and clapped both hands over his ears. He tried to force a moody pout.

“I said, shut up.”

“You look really nice like this,” Ed blurted.

“What?”

“When you blush, you look nice. Makes you look alive for a change.”

Oswald wanted to slap that shitty smirk off of Ed’s dumb mouth. His cheeks only grew hotter with Ed’s playful taunting. He punched Ed lightly in the shoulder. It was only fair that it was his turn to make Ed blush now.

“Well, you were literally trying to rub one off on me. Did you haul me down on your crotch for fun or was that just for practice? Are you gonna be grinding up on Kristen in the library during your little study date?”

Oswald swore like a sailor when his mom wasn’t around, but he rarely spoke of anything particularly vulgar. The explicit words felt strange on his tongue, but seeing Ed stutter made it very worth it.

“I-I just got carried away. You were the one who told me to ‘vibe with it’, whatever that means.” Ed didn’t tell him that he hadn’t once thought of Kristen the entire time.

“‘Vibe with it’ means feel out the mood and act accordingly, Edward. But I’ll admit, you won’t have to worry about disappointing Kristen in the off chance that she makes a move on you.”

Oswald couldn’t contain his own visible disappointment. Disappointment at what, he refused to acknowledge. Ed was surprised to feel his excitement over the tutoring session waning, almost like there was something he’d suddenly much rather be doing.

“I mean, it probably won’t happen. Realistically,” he pointed out.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

“W-We can, uh, practice as much as you want, just in case it does happen,” Oswald’s eye wandered all over the room, landing anywhere but on Ed.

“Really?” Ed had to quell his enthusiasm. “Um, we can?”

“Sure, I mean, what are friends for?” Oswald shrugged, then his lips tugged up in a knowing smile. The same coy smile, brimming with a conspiratorial understanding that Ed mirrored right back at him. Both boys leaned in and their lips met again.

And it was at that moment they simultaneously realized that they were undeniably fucked.

**Author's Note:**

> shitty ending??? perhaps, but this is actually a scarily accurate retelling of my own gay teenage experiences lmao


End file.
